One of the most common ways to turn a happy Bride in to an Official Bridezilla is to use those four foul little words nobody likes to hear - “not on your budget.”

I ask all of my clients 2 questions before the planning begins - “What is your budget”? and “What are your expectations”? Charlene was one of my very first brides when I started in the business and she was a sweetheart….at first. Charlene was the type of girl who had dreamed up her perfect wedding day as a little girl and now she was relying on me to see that it happened. She arrived at my office with a book full of ads for venues, cakes and flower arrangements she had found in top-shelf glossy bridal magazines. Her budget was $15,000 and at that point, I didn’t need to ask what her expectations were, the photos said it all.

So how do you tell a bright-eyed girl that you can deliver corned beef hash when what she really wants is lobster? Nowadays, I give them the most straightforward answer I can…. usually “no”. Back then, I was a nervous Yes Ma’am ready to please. I sat there with Charlene that day trying to imagine how in the world I was going to make hers look like a $100,000 wedding.

For the next 8 months I felt like a used car salesman in a serious bargaining war. I would send her a quote for exactly what she wanted and she’d immediately reply with a counter-offer. While wedding fees are almost never negotiable, I was doing everything I could to cut corners for her. Charlene could not understand why a bridal clutch with 40 roses would cost more than $150. She couldn’t grasp why there was a corkage fee in addition to the gratuity. She asked me over and over to waive the Minister’s fee since she already had to pay for the marriage license (even though the two are not related in any way).

Now I don’t expect brides and groom’s to automatically know what all the fees and costs are going to be. That’s why there are wedding planners to do the dirty work. But Charlene was the first bride whose complete disillusionment made me feel like I was crushing her dreams and I’ll never forget it. She said to me just days before the wedding “You’d think with all the time and money I’ve spent I would be getting the wedding I always wanted.”

I partially blame myself for this fiasco because I wasn’t straight-forward with her from the beginning. Rather than looking at her budget and saying “here are your options,” I ran with her desires and hoped the budget would follow. Which led me to my career philosophy: always under-promise and over-deliver. The sooner a bride understands what is realistic and what isn’t, the less disappointed she will be in the end.

And now for some wedding ideas that Charlene’s budget could live with:

A bride can stretch her budget pretty far when sticking to Do-It-Yourself gift items and kits. The “Sweets and Treats!” Favor Bag Kit with Handmade Appliqués is an excellent way to present a small Thank You item and looks much nicer than a standard plain color gift bag. Plus it’s small enough so you don’t have to fill it with much! Swarovski Crystal Monogram Cake Toppers are a hot item recently and this Do It Yourself Kit can cut the cost by more than 25%.

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Filed under: Bridezilla, Budget Advice, Cakes and Catering, Flowers, do-it-yourself, Corkage Fee, Do It Yourself Wedding, Minister's Fee, Rose Clutch, Wedding Budget