Sheryl was a Bride on her second ride to the alter. In my experience, brides getting married for the second or third time are a piece of cake compared to the rookie bride who often needs a lot of hand-holding. That’s how the story of Sheryl went. Smooth sailing…. that is, until the moment she reached the alter.

About 45 seconds in to the I Do’s, the ceremony was suddenly halted when the blood drained from the Minister’s face and his speech stopped. I remember the small crowd of family and friends, nervously glimpsing around the small church looking for the ghost in the room. When no apparent spectacle could be found, we all turned our gaze back towards the minister who was now hunched over, hyperventilating behind his stand.

Heart attack was the first thought that crossed my mind as I clutched my cell phone, ready to make the call. After the portly Minister was ushered out of the small church and placed in the vestry to recoup, our fears were absolved as he explained between breaths that this little episode must have been the result of diet pills and too much coffee. “It’s happened once before” he said.

I watched as the Sheryl’s expression morphed from concerned to furious. “You mean my wedding just got ruined because the preacher OD’d on Trim Spa?” were the words that resonated through the church that day. We all looked at Cheryl speechless. While the rest of us were still recovering from the threat of imminent death, it didn’t take her a heartbeat to unleash the verbal lashing. Needless to say, our Minister did not marry Sheryl and her groom that day…. and the hour and a half waiting for the “replacement guy” didn’t help the situation either.

I’ve seen my share of angry brides unload on an unsuspecting soul. In this episode the bride’s angry wit and the victim’s temporary physical and mental disadvantage made the entire scene feel like a doomed romantic comedy staring an evil Sarah Silverman. Unfortunately that was a flick I couldn’t rewind.

In the spirit of coffee and other caffinated treats, how about giving away Personalized Coffee Packets to your guests to thank them for coming. Once we passed out Personalized Chocolate Coins to all of the kids right before the ceremony just to keep them happy and quiet….it worked!