08/08/08 was a huge wedding day for couples across the world but no where was it more celebrated than in city of Beijing where a record breaking 9,000s some couples registered for marriage on this day.    Known in Chinese tradition as a symbol of wealth and luck, the auspicious number “8″ had an obvious influence in both the scheduling of the Olympics and the overwhelming number of people lining up to tie the knot.

And now that we know some of those fireworks were fake, let’s hope the licenses weren’t too!

Filed under: Destination Weddings, Engagement, Honeymoons, Just for Fun, Theme Weddings, Wedding Blog, Wedding Traditions, eloping, 080808 weddings, chinese tradition, fake fireworks at the olympics, married on 080808, the number 8 | Post a comment

Last week,  we learned the consequences of how a simple piece of paper can thwart  your entire ceremony.  After posting Jamie and Pete’s story and the nightmare brought on by an out-of-state marriage license, a fellow Wedding Planner sent me a tweet to highlight an important point I failed to mention.  Even if you manage to get the State right, Marriage Licenses must also be from the specific county where you plan to marry.

With over 3,000 counties in the US, research is crucial.  MarriageLicense.com does a nice   job in providing contact information to every County Licensing Bureau in the US; however since details such as filing fees, certified copies and waiting periods can vary from county to county, this website leaves the legwork to you.

So let’s say you actually do your homework, you and your fiance have obtained the correct Marriage Licence, it’s not due to expire before your wedding day and better yet -those blood tests finally confirmed that you AREN’T cousins!  You’re all set right?  Wrong.  The Marriage License Lombada is one dance that doesn’t end when the ink dries.

Megan and her fiance Dereck did everything right when it came to the License.  Getting married in California, they got it within 90 Days of their wedding and confirmed with their Officiant that he would be mailing it to the Recorder’s office afterwards.  They even pre-paid for the certified copy - an option most counties offer but many clerks fail to mention, forcing couples to have to order it at a later date (so remember to ask for it while you’re there!).

After the seaside ceremony, as the bride and groom gathered to watch their witnesses sign the license, Megan’s Grandmother presented them with a beautiful 8 x 10 parchment she herself had calligraphied as a Keepsake Certificate.  Since it’s fairly typical for a “decorative” certificate to be slipped in to the mix of official documents, neither I, nor the Officiant took special notice of the  papers being shuffled around.

Grandma had planned to matte and frame the homemade certificate for the new  couple, so she made it a point to organize the documents into their respective envelopes herself.  In the commotion of the moment, the decorative was inadvertently placed and sealed inside the envelope pre-addressed to the county recorder’s office, while the official license was placed in an identical-looking folder …. going home with Grandma.

This regrettable mistake was discovered three months later when Megan, anxious to change her name, finally called the Recorder’s office to find out why she hadn’t received her certified copy.  As it happened, Grandma fell ill soon after the wedding and had neglected her framing project until this time.  And here’s the clincher - because it was well past the 10 day period in which you are required to file your license after it’s signed, the official licence, the ceremony, the presumed legal matrimony was now null and void.  Yet another lesson: even if your Officiant scores the right copy, make sure he’s aware of the time frame in which he needs to send it in - every county is different.

Megan and Dereck happily re-married at their local courthouse and did not experience any legal or financial repercussions from the delay.  They’re lucky though - situations like this could have messy implications had they been in a time-crunch for taxes, passports, insurance etc.  Perhaps she just wanted to take the guilt off Grandma, but I truly appreciated Megan’s un-bridezilla attitude as she joked to her new groom, “Now we get to have two anniversaries!”

At least Megan’s Name Changing process will run smother than getting the Marriage License back.  She used this Name Change Kit on CD-ROM complete with printable government forms.

Filed under: After the Wedding, Just for Fun, Wedding Blog, Wedding Bloopers, Wedding Traditions, do-it-yourself, decorative marriage certificate, marriage license, marriage license laws, Name change kit, officiant | 1 Comment

I’ll never forget the day I received a phone call from a sobbing former Bride whose marriage was coming to an end.  Less than two years after the couple had wed, the current Mrs. was calling ME hoping to arrange a divorce - no joke!  Apparently this bride took my “one-stop-shop” service guarantee a bit too seriously.

Wedding planners play many roles for their clients - as accountants, as therapists… as Houdini.  I even stood in for a photographer once.  But as many hats as we wear in this industry, I still get a kick out of the folks who confuse wedding planners with lawyers.  Sure I do my best to provide information and resources but when it comes down to it, legal documents are the sole responsibility of the Bride and Groom.

At the start of my career I worked for a small events firm in Lake Tahoe and since 99% of our weddings took place on the Nevada side of the lake, all of our informational materials regarding licensing was based on Nevada laws and requirements.   Enter Jamie and her groom Pete. Unbeknownst to me, this eager young couple went to the courthouse to get their marriage license the same day they booked their wedding - a full 10 months in advance.

Five months later, an unexpected budget conflict caused Jamie and Pete to relocate the event to a smaller venue about 10 miles away.  Amid the frenzy of re-budgeting and cancellation policies, the fact that the new venue was now on the California side of the lake only became a concern when the couple learned they would have to find a new minister ordained in CA.  Soon thereafter, I mentioned the marriage license as I was going through one of my typical checklists.  Not knowing that they had already obtained a Nevada license, I crossed it off my list after Jamie assured me they had taken care of  it.

Long story short, Jamie arrived with a Nevada marriage license to her California wedding ceremony.  The Minister refused to perform even a mock ceremony for liability reasons and the only way she was going to have a legal ceremony was to head back to Nevada.  With a Bride in tears, our one ounce of luck in this awful situation was that our Minister was also ordained in Nevada and agreed to travel across the state line to perform what he called a “quick and dirty.”  That day, the couple exchanged vows on a street corner in front of a casino while the would-be ceremony turned into a rowdy cocktail party.

As sweet a girl as she was, Jamie’s Bridezilla-mode did surface that day as she searched for someone to blame.  She came down on me pretty hard for not informing her that a trans-state marriage license does not exist and I do accept some blame for assuming that was an obvious.   Since that fiasco, adding “legal consultant” to my job description has become a necessary evil.   Stay tuned for part 2 of Legal Horror Stories when we learn what happens when Grandma decides to frame the wrong copy of your marriage licence -fun stuff!

Crossing state lines for your big day?  Matching Luggage Tags are a great way to  surprise your wedding party before they leave.  And don’t  forget to greet your guests with an Out of Town Gift Bag filled with local goodies.

Filed under: Bridezilla, Destination Weddings, Engagement, Just for Fun, Wedding Blog, Wedding Bloopers, Wedding Favors, do-it-yourself, eloping, lake tahoe weddings, marriage certificate, marriage license, marriage license laws, Minister | Post a comment

Yesterday I came across this wonderfully unique invitation set created by Kansas City- based designer Lilah Paper,  and I’ve been gushing over it ever since.  I love the simplicity,  love the design and most of all I love the concept.  What can I say, I ski and I’m a sucker for creativity.

Nowadays, there’s an average of six “cards or notes” that are sent to guests before a wedding.  There’s the Save the Date, the Invitation, the Reception Card, the Response Card, the Informal Note and often a map or hotel reservation card.   This doesn’t even include invites for the  engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette and bachelor parties…. whew!   Kinda makes you appreciate Evites.

So what happens to these expensive little pieces of art once they’ve arrived and done their informational duty?   For a Lift Ticket invite, I would gladly hang it on my refrigerator and admire it every day until the wedding.  Most of the invites I receive however, get stashed in a file soon after the details have been transcribed to my palm pilot.  Which leads me to the story of Lauren.

When Lauren came to my office to pick out her invitations, bringing along her two bridesmaids to help, it quickly became apparent that both bridesmaids had no idea when or where the wedding was going to take place.  Lauren’s Save the Dates had gone out two months earlier and neither Bridesmaid had bothered to keep the card, much less memorize what was on it.

“You threw them away”? Lauren whimpered to the girls, as if a knife had come crashing down upon her back.  Rather than feeling insulted that they hadn’t hard-wired the date to their brains, Lauren sat with tears welling in her eyes over the thought of her beautiful stationary gone to waste….. then the Bridezilla emerged!

Lauren decided that not only would these two Bridesmaids not receive the formal invitation, she also added a line at the bottom of the invites that read:  Please Present this Invitation for Admittance.  ““That” she exclaimed, “will teach you not to throw MY stuff away!”

Although Lauren eventually made nice with her girls and opted not to kick them out of the wedding, she did feel quite silly on her wedding day when the two groomsmen, in jest, decided to play bouncers.  Lesson learned - there are only a few appropriate instances to treat your invite like a ticket stub.   Unfortunately for Lauren, she was not marrying Tom Cruise in an Italian castle.

Make your wedding invites as simple or complex as you want.  Why not even  add your own custom monogram ?

Filed under: Bridal Party, Bridezilla, Celebrity Weddings, Engagement, Wedding Traditions, do-it-yourself, bridesmaids, Bridezilla, reception cards, response cards, save the date, wedding invitations | 1 Comment

A friend of a friend was married last weekend and while I did not attend the event,  I of course demanded the photos.  I thought I had seen it all when it comes to weddings but this was something else!   The Bride had not one, but 4 BridesMEN and not a single Bridesmaid in sight.  While apparently some of the guests were tsk-tsking the non-tradition format, I completely understand her decision as I, like many women out there, seem to have far more male friends than female.

I applaud the bold choice this young Bride made and give props to the brave men who proudly stood on the “girl’s side.”   Any thoughts?  similar experiences?

Filed under: Bridal Party, Theme Weddings, Wedding Blog, Wedding Bloopers, Wedding Traditions, Always a Bridesmaid, Groomsmen, Non-traditional bridal party | 2 Comments

The idea of wearing your mother’s wedding dress at your own wedding is, for some  people, one that evokes a gag reflex.  For others it’s a sweet, sentimental tribute to the woman that brought you in to the world.  While I personally couldn’t do that 70’s  “little house on the prairie” look (sorry mom!), recycling the old dress to the next generation is a trend that has not wavered in our modern material age.

A recent post on Elizabeth Anne Designs‘ delightful blog reminded me of an epic  Bridezilla Tale involving a Bride and her mother’s dress.    Jennifer’s father had died a year before she got engaged and it was important to both her and her mother to incorporate his memory in with the wedding.  Barb, the mother of the Bride, knew that her late husband adored her dress from their 1962 wedding and felt that nothing would be more special than watching Jennifer marry in the same threads.

With mother and daughter living on opposite ends of the country, Jennifer received the  dress in the mail along with a note saying: “Nothing would make ‘us’ happier than to pass this down to you.”  Resistant at first, Jennifer knew how much it meant to her mother and decided she could make it work.  She called her mother to confirm that a few “adjustments” would be tolerated and her mother gladly welcomed it.

Problem was, Jennifer and Barb had two completely different ideas of “adjustments.”   While Barb figured she’d need the dress taken in here, let out there and hemmed in a few places, Jennifer went on a fabric shopping spree, borrowed her friend’s sewing machine and got to work.  What ensued can only be compared to that terrible video of the Bride cutting her hair off before the ceremony (except this was no acting).

Barb’s first glance at the altered dress was an hour before the ceremony as the Bride sat nervously waiting in her hotel room.   I have to admit, Jennifer did a dam good job of altering the dress to something more modern and youthful but it looked NOTHING like the original dress.  Barb went ballistic.  As I and the frightened bridesmaids made a quick escape from the room, we could hear screaming muffled over sobs from both women.  Barb felt so disrespected and insulted, she told Jennifer she would not allow  her to get married in “that abomination”.

Scissors came next.  With emotions quickly consuming any rationale, Barb’s urgency to fix the defiled and tainted dress left the Bride standing in rags and tears.  Patches  and shreds hung on Jennifer like Cinderella after a visit from the  step-sisters.  It was truly the most dramatic and emotional moment in my career.

When all was said and done, this story did have a happy ending.  Mother and daughter made up, the hotel had a gown they kept on hand for “emergency situations” and Jennifer’s surprise tribute to her father, a song she wrote and sang at the reception, made her mother forget she ever had a wedding dress… or scissors.

The “Sew Perfect” Plaid Sewing Kit may not have helped Jennifer’s situation but it’s a great item to have on hand for any last minutes fixes.   Give it to your bridesmaids before the ceremony and everyone is covered!

Filed under: Bridezilla, Budget Advice, Engagement, Fashion Trends, Just for Fun, Wedding Blog, Wedding Bloopers, Wedding Traditions, do-it-yourself, Mother of the Bride, Vintage Bride, Wedding dress, wedding memorial | Post a comment

In the wedding business, you learn to cheat, conceal and cut-corners.  Whether  its bridesmaids dresses from Target or flowers from your neighbor’s garden (the latter of which I do not recommend), I thought I knew it all when it came to the over-documented topic of: Ways to Cut Your Wedding Budget in Half. One Bride showed me that I didn’t.

Jessica was a clever little Bride in terms of thinking outside of the box for her budget wedding.  Her invitations - A beautifully designed Flash presentation, created by a web designer and distributed to her 300 guests without using one piece of paper or postage.  Her music, a carefully planned out set of playlists and visuals, downloaded to her ipod and Deejayed by her cousin.  She even printed her programs on wedding fans for the hot outdoor ceremony.  We worked together to come up with cost-cutting, innovative ideas for almost every aspect of the wedding….and then came the cake.

Food is one area I do not like to cheat.   As much as you dress it up, put a bow on it  and call it sirloin, bologna still tastes like bologna.  So I was quite dumbfounded when Jessica showed me a picture of a $3,000 wedding cake and told me she could get it for a cool $300.   “Rent-A-Cakes!” she yipped, “it’s all the rage.”  Confused and frightened, my head started reeling with terrible visions of guests being asked to return the cake they just ate.  Then it hit me - styrofoam cake for show; cheap sheet cake for eating.  Brilliant!

These beautiful “cakes” can be designed to your exact specifications and even come with a compartment in the bottom where you can add real cake for the cutting.  By the time the groom is wiping frosting out of his eyes and the fake cake is wheeled back to the kitchen for serving,  your guests are none the wiser.  Since Jessica’s wedding, I have used this trick dozens of times and companies such as Cake Rentals.com create them to look amazingly life-like.  Only the sticky-fingered ring bearer opting for an early taste test is left disappointed.

Other Ways to Cheat at Your Wedding (besides with the Best Man): Freeze Dried Flower Petals.  Ok, so  they’re not fake petals, but the Freeze Dried treatment means you don’t have to keep them fresh which nearly cuts costs in half.

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